Well hello again World:
Here we are – same shit, different year!
International Women’s Day 2017! My Facebook news feed will be awash in messages of positivity, and female empowerment, and sisterhood, and examples of strong women, and messages of being strong women and raising strong women and knowing strong women, and hugging your mothers, and reclaiming your goddess stature, and…..gag me with a spoon!
Like I am a disease that needs to be cured – hello World Hepatitis Day or International Tuberculosis Day or World Cancer Day!
Like I am a congenital birth defect that needs a fucking walkathon to raise money and awareness for – hello to you International Down Syndrome Day and World Autism Awareness Day!
Like I’m a bollocky exotic species of flora and fauna that needs to be protected – here’s looking at you World Migratory Bird Day and World Tuna Day….fucking Tuna Day?!!
Like I’m a natural disaster that needs to be prepared for and anticipated with horror – what’s up World Tsunami Awareness Day or World Day to Combat Desertification or Drought!
Like I’m an unspeakable atrocity that needs to be NEVER repeated – yo yo yo International Holocaust Remembrance Day and International Day for the Remembrance of Slave Trade and it’s Abolition!
Like I’m an emotional manipulation that needs to be mollycoddled – ‘sup World Friendship Day and International Happiness Day!
Like I’m a geographical feature that you love and need to survive, but you’ll do nothing to prevent the systematic rape of – holla International Day of Forests and World Oceans Day!
And here’s the ultimate cruelty: don’t tell me I can do anything I want, and then put up every known barrier under the sun and lame attempts at rationalization under the cloak of being “for your own protection”, to deny me what I want to do!
Don’t tell me I can be a world leader if I want to and then choose an inept, putrid pustule, man-child over my qualified, dedicated, smart-as-shit, public servant ass!
Don’t tell me I’m invaluable to science and technological progress and then call me a ‘distraction’ and ‘weak’!
Don’t tell me I am free and emancipated with inviolate rights over my own person and then seek to curb those rights on the grounds of some arcane morality!
Don’t tell me I can wear whatever I choose to and embrace my uniqueness….unless what I choose to wear somehow offends your sense of style!
Don’t tell me my supreme purpose in life is to procreate and have children to ensure the continuation of the species because you can’t conceive of a reason a woman would want to be more than a walking incubator!
Don’t tell me that I am unable to choose my own gender identity because you have a problem understanding that I am more than my private parts!
And to all the people asking me ‘oh hey, when is International Men’s day’, ‘how come there’s no International Men’s Day’?! I don’t know guys, can I instead interest you in the under appreciated International Stick-A-Hot-Poker-Up-Your-Ass Day instead? How about the International Don’t-Be-An-Asshole Day?!
Because while we are still seeing headlines like the one’s below – all taken from the last effing 48 hours – don’t bloody pat me on my head and tell me I don’t need to march anymore – you sick, degenerate assholes!