Today, apparently, is International Women’s Day. So all over social media I have seen inspirational quotes and photos of exceptional women and messages of positivity. And all I can think is – wow, International Women’s Day – that’s a nice way to recognize that the state of women in the world needs attention. And then another part of me thinks, – wow, International Women’s Day – don’t you FU@%ING PATRONIZE ME WORLD!
I am not an effing chocolate, or a disease, or a gesture of affection, or a hundred other things that the World has so thoughtfully put aside one day of the year to remember. I am one half of the bloody species! In fact, without me you’d have no bloody species you self-congratulatory fu@%wits!
I don’t want a goddam day. This is what I want World, and until you can do it, don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining!
I want you to give me an equal pay for equal work. And don’t start with the whining – “oh, but women take time off to have families, and women cut back on hours to stay home which is why they don’t make as much“, – and all the other excuses you’ve managed to give yourself World! Look up the meaning of the word EQUAL and then give me what I shouldn’t even have to ask for!
I want you to stop treating my body as a political battlefield.
I want you to respect my choices and when I do choose to have children I would like you to ensure they get access to quality, affordable healthcare, a good education, and an ability to become self-determined members of society.
And while I am raising these children to become contributing members of society for you World – you’re welcome by the way – I’d like to continue to work if I choose so I also want affordable and safe childcare options.
I want you to STOP sending my children to war.
I want you to stop having a hissy fit that I want access to a wide range of safe and affordable birth control options.
I want you to stop treating me like I’m a criminal if I want a choice in when and with whom and with how many people I want to make love.
I want you to stop mutilating my genitals, covering me up, marrying me off when I’m a child myself, and all other manners of indignities in the name of religion, tradition, society or whatever the fu@% other excuses you make when you do it!
I want you to stop revering me as a goddess while violating my body and my mind – and then telling me it was my fault all along.
I want to wear what I’d like without being accused of being a slut, a whore, a Jezebel, a pig, fat, thin.
In fact World, I want you to stop with the name calling entirely. I am not bossy, bitchy, abrasive, crazy, pushy, demanding, or irrational. All I’m doing is expressing my opinion via speech. This is also know in scientific circles as TALKING – get used to it!
I don’t want to have to explain to my daughter, who is doing a report on Afghanistan, that given all the progress we’ve made in science and technology and human understanding – how this photo is even possible. World, just look at the expressions on the women in the top photo – they are smiling and fearless! What are the women in the bottom photo even thinking? You’ve successfully reduced women to inanimate objects because of some perverted morality?! What are YOU even thinking World?!
This is a long list of things I want done World. And it’s not going to be easy and you’re looking at it and panicking and wondering how to get started and is there a due date and what will the deliverables be and how will we be graded and is there a rubric?
And so I’m going to throw you a bone World – I will help you get started on your list. Because one half of the entire species has not suffered without the tacit approval of the other half and so I will help you World – by raising better boys. Kind, compassionate boys with steely resolve and strength of character. Okay World? Break’s over, back to work!