Resolutions Shmesolutions

It’s that time of year – when we lie to ourselves with impunity about all the stuff we’re going to achieve in the next year. Little white lies we tell ourselves every year. And the entire planet it seems is in on this mass delusional event. It’s like …. astrology, no rational person believes in it but hell if I don’t read the collective fate of 1/12th of the entire population of the world (Librans) every week! So, instead of stuff I’m going to do this year – here’s some stuff I’m not – reverse psychology works on my kids so maybe there’s some genetic component to it that will work on me. That’s just a working theory mind you – this year I’m field testing it.

Let’s start with probably the toughest one – I’m going to stop concentrating on what my kids are doing wrong and start really focusing on what they’re doing right. And they do a lot of stuff that’s really cool. They’re polite and funny and loving and smart – and I tend to overlook those things because I’m asking them to eat their food or clean up their rooms or empty their backpacks. Or stop fighting or turn off the lights or brush their teeth or wash their hands or take a shower or … yup – this one’s going to be the toughest one! But, we are always telling the kids that being kind is non-negotiable so I think it’s time I started being kinder to them.

Next – I’ve been going to work out now since June. I haven’t dropped much weight and that’s disheartening but I continued to go because everyone kept telling me that I would one day learn to love it and I’m putting on muscle and I’m getting toned so don’t worry about the scale. And that last part is fine – I’m not going to worry about the scale – but I’m going to give myself permission to continue to hate exercise. Because I really do hate it – slothiness is my natural state and I’m done apologizing for that. So I will do my burpees and mountain climbers and infernal push-ups – but I’m not going to worry that I’m going to one day wake up with an epiphany and love the process. It’s hard and it’s sweaty and it’s a royal pain in my as-yet-undiminished arse – but it’s a necessary evil and I will just have to put my grown-up sassy pants on and work out.

And finally – I’m definitely a glass half full kind of person, optimistic to a fault, a ray of sunshine under 99% of circumstances. But there is that 1%* of the time that I get down, a bit blue, grouchy even. And normally I try to snap out of it as fast as possible because it’s not a comfortable space for me to inhabit for a long time. And then I feel the need to apologize to anyone who bore the unwitting brunt of my less than rosy disposition. But this year – I’m going to wallow a little in my grouchiness, I’m going to allow myself to really bask in misanthropy when I feel like without apology, because of the fricking 99% of the time that I am a fucking ray of sunshine!

So bring it on 2015 – it may be a bumpy ride but it’s going to be an adventure and I do love a good adventure!

*Dave is skeptical about the data – he thinks 1% may be a gross underestimation on my part. I think I know where Dave should put his skepticism.

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