Arguing with one’s significant other can be really intellectually satisfying – you’ve spent an inordinate amount of time installing just the right buttons to get him/her frothing like a rabid dog – it seems like such a waste to not push them once in a while! Just to make sure that they are working right – to see if they need a little adjustment.
But Dave is really annoying to argue with – because he just refuses to do it! So there I am, with a great built-up head of steam, raring to go – the words “LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE” echoing in my head – and he says “I’m not going to argue when I’m upset“! WHAT??! That is exactly the time to argue dude! Because if you calm down and have a rational discussion – its not a bloody argument!! Its just a conversation!! Besides which, I’m mad NOW! If I wanted to sit down, weigh all the pros and cons, consider every angle – I’d be up for a ruddy sainthood! I mean really, what adult behaves that way?!
Also, if we do wait, I have forgotten what I’m incensed about, while he has spent that time amassing evidence to strengthen his case! But its surprisingly difficult to have a knock-down, drag-out fight with someone who insists on being calm and rational. Here is a snippet of a recent argument with my husband on a Very Important Topic that I can’t remember now, but about which I’m sure I was completely right :
Me: It’s a chicken and egg problem
Dave: There is no such thing as a chicken and egg problem
Me: I’m pretty sure I got that right – the problem is that we don’t know what started first – isn’t that what a chicken and egg problem is?
Dave: I’m not objecting to your use of the metaphor – I’m objecting to the metaphor itself
Me: Speak English dude
Dave: There’s no such thing as a chicken and egg problem. The egg came first, the egg always comes first, the egg’s parents weren’t chickens – that’s how evolution works!
It’s a good thing we agree on the small issues like evolution and climate change and women’s health and organized religion! Now, if we can only figure out the big problems like whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher, we’d be all set!